Tag Archives: men

When Infidelity sets in…

relationship infidelity conflict resolution

in·fi·del·i·ty  

  • (n.) Unfaithfulness to the marriage vow or contract; violation of the marriage covenant by adultery.
  • (n.) Breach of trust; unfaithfulness to a charge, or to moral obligation; treachery; deceit; as, the infidelity of a servant.

For some reasons or another, INFIDELITY is always associated with MEN. Why? Is it because there are great number of men than women having an affair outside of their married life, or life with their partners and girlfriends. Or is it a common understanding and knowledge that MEN by nature are polygamous. Blame it on the society. But what really drives an individual to step out of the line and get himself/herself into this trap? Yes, I say trap as I believe any person has the ability to refuse or give it a green sign. I also believe that there is no such thing as UNINTENTIONAL CHEATING on his or her mate for that matter. It’s a big CRAP.

Well according to study, below are 12 common place situations that can lead to infidelity.

Trap #1 – Regular online communication an online “friend”

Regular e-mails, IM’s or chat room conversations with an online friend of the opposite sex can build strong emotional bonds that progress to emotional infidelity, which is the stepping stone to sexual infidelity.

Trap #2 – Drugs or Alcohol

Many people have succumbed to infidelity because they were under the influence of drugs or alcohol which impaired their judgment, and lowered their inhibitions.

Trap #3 – Flirting

Innocent flirting with someone of the opposite sex can get out of hand. Especially if one person finds the other sexually attractive.

Trap # 4 – Associating with others who are cheating on their mates.

Peer pressure can be very powerful. If there’s one lone “goody two shoes” among a group of a group of cheating friends, it won’t be long before that person is cheating too.

Trap #5 – Complaining about your marriage/ relationship or your mate.

This sends a message of availability, and can be misinterpreted that the complainer is open to having an affair. And the irony to this is, those partners who complaints a lot are those belong to the cheater group.

Trap #6 – Socializing with an opposite sex workmate.

Hanging out with an opposite sex workmate during non-business hours is just asking for trouble if unless your spouse or significant other is present, or you’re part of a group.

Trap #7 – Putting oneself in compromising situations.

Stopping by your opposite sex friend’s apartment when you know the two of you will be there alone. Inviting an opposite sex workmate to stop by your hotel room of visiting their room on a business trip.

Trap #8 – Fantasizing about sex with someone else.

Thoughts precede actions. Fantasizing what it would be like to have sex with another person allows the idea of infidelity to take root in one’s mind.

Trap #9 – Lunch and coffee breaks with the same person.

Having lunch or taking coffee breaks with the same opposite sex workmate every day paves the way for a workplace affair.

Trap #10 – Talking about sex.

Discussions of a sexual nature with someone of the opposite sex can arouse that person’s sexual interest in you, or make the other person think you have a sexual interest in them.

Trap #11 – Letting one’s marriage or relationship stagnate.

When the romance and passion fade in a marriage or relationship, both parties become vulnerable to an affair.

Trap #12- Window shopping on online dating sites.

Anyone who is married or in a committed relationship is asking for trouble by checking out online dating sites, just to see what they have to offer. Seeing what’s available can trick one into thinking that the grass is greener on the other side.

So if you think you’re in in one of the situational trap mentioned above, think twice or thrice. J You wouldn’t want to be in the scene where it is yourself that is being cheated upon right? Remember the law of KARMA. What comes around goes around.

More on Valentine’s Day- How to tell someone you love them?

valentinesday iloveyou

There are hundred ways to say I LOVE YOU. What makes it worse if there are still people who find it hard to express this feeling to others whom they feel important to them.

Some are just shy to express their emotions. Others are hesitant to show how they love as they see it as a sign of weakness. There are few who refuse to share what they feel due to rejection. Lucy are those who are being taught to be extrovert in expressing this feeling. But is not something you can tell just about anybody you meet :). To love someone is a special state of mind that don’t just happen in a snap of a finger. This feeling should be invested, nourished and should keep you inspired all through years of being together. Years later, it should be a moment that you feel good and proud of, not a memory that makes you cringe and one you would rather forget.

So how do you really tell someone that you love them? Sharing some points to consider which i have read sometime ago.

1. Don’t throw the word around

The first thing that you must be sure about is what love means to you. Some people tend to use the word in everyday conversation, as a casual expression; for instance, “Bye! Love you!” So if you’re one of those people, you will have to make a rather serious and special effort to actually portray your feelings of love when you intend to tell someone that they mean the world to you.

2. Appropriate place

This is a factor that will also depend on the person you are going to tell. Some people prefer having a personal communication in private and may freak out if you tell them that you love them in front of friends and other people. Others may love the thrill that comes along with a public declaration of love. Also make sure you pick a spot where you feel comfortable. The last thing you want to do is to feel rushed and harried while you’re about to say something so important.

3. Appropriate Timing

Timing is a very crucial factor when it comes to proclaiming love for the other person. You need to be absolutely sure about your feelings in the first place. Don’t confuse a crush or an infatuation with love and blurt it out because you couldn’t distinguish between heart and hormones. Other men thinks they already love someone by having a one night stand. Poor individuals! 🙂

4. Just say it

There is no easy way to do it. No shortcuts, no tonics, nothing to help you out. If you’re sure about your feelings, just go ahead and say it. Of course, do make sure you put in some thought behind how you want to go about the whole thing. Pick a romantic spot if you must, but what really matters is your intention. Say exactly what you want to say.

 

5. Love is a VERB; A VERB is an action word.

Therefore, if you say you love someone it doesn’t end by just saying it a thousand times. You need to take extra effort to express the reasons why you love that special person. It will not really matter even if you say those endearing words and take that person for granted specially in times you are needed the most. Love is learning your partner’s love language and then expressing love in a way that he/she can receive.
There is no way to tell for sure whether the other person reciprocates your feelings or not. However, life is too short to hesitate over such important matters. In the end, you do not want to hold regrets about the things you could not do. Not telling someone that you love them out of fear of losing their friendship is not the wisest of things to do. So just go and tell that special person how much they matter to you.

 

 

 

The “V” Day!-2013

valentines day, valentines greeting, valentines card, valentines celebration

For us Women, Valentine’s Day is considered as one of the yearly event we look forward to. Common’ Ladies, admit it:)!

Sad as it may seem only few Men understand and consider this day to be a big day for us. If your significant other falls under the “it will pass” kind of Men personality then I guess you belong to those wives, girlfriends and partners who chose to celebrate “V” day the kind of “I did it my way”.


But seriously, don’t you think it’s about time to include it in your bucket list for a change? Wouldn’t it be nice to do something extra ordinary or special on this day being a couple?

Well, here’s a list of ordinary things you could do or spend time with your wife, girlfriends and partners without spending extravagant.

1. Take a shower or bath together. Have warm towels in the dryer. Prepare in advance sliced apples, bananas, cantalope, peaches, and kiwi fruit. Have a CD of love songs playing in the background. Blindfold your partner, let your valentine’s senses examine the tastes and textures. This will be a very memorable, romantic evening I can promise you.

2. Try Home Spa. Spa’s can be a bit pricey, but that doesn’t mean you both have to miss out on a bit of pampering. Make Valentine’s Day a night where the two of you really get to relax and enjoy each other in your own home. Get some bath lotions and take a hot bath together. Set up a massage area somewhere, and break out some massage oil. Some good romantic music in the midst of all of this, flower petals, and you’ll begin to wonder how spas ever became a legitimate business.


3. Home-cooked Meal. For Men who don’t cook, pretend to be the Master Chef for a day and prepare for a sumptuous meal. That’s because anyone who’s ever cooked before knows it’s a labor of love, and something that cannot be taken for granted.

4. For married couples whose budget is an issue? Try this. Drop off your kids at your parents/in-laws or any relatives house and go back to your home and MAKE LOVE. This time try to be adventurous as possible. You know what I mean guys!:)

5. For long distance relationship. There is no better way to express your love than “SAY IT WITH FLOWERS & CHOCOLATES”. Old fashion it may seem but it will always sweep any women’s feet, believe me.

6. Have a movie marathon at home. Prepare popcorn, chips or any movie house food alike and enjoy your day of being together.

7. Try Hiking and bring your camera! Have a photo shoot during your trek and upload it on any social networking site and caption every moment.

8. If you live near the shore and it’s warm, go for a walk. If it’s not warm? BONUS! Give her your jacket to wear for the date.

9. Serenade him/her (if you like to sing)! Express your feelings by singing like Jason Mraz and Kristina Perry for a night.

10. The classic picnic in a park and Go treasure hunting afterwards. There may be a bucket of gold stocked under a tree. Who knows!

The lists are endless. All you need is a creative mind and be a romantic geek for a day!

Stay in-love, it’s the greatest feeling any one could have.
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More about Valentines, see History of Valentine Video below: