Tag Archives: relationship advice

It’s the LOVER not the LOVE….

love song

“It’s the lover not the love who broke your heart last night; it’s the lover not the love that didn’t work out right. So if you listen to your heart; you know it’s true; it’s the lover not the love who deserted you.”

Remember these lines from a song?  They say that being in-love is the sweetest feeling anybody could have.  Heart beats faster than the usual speed. You feel happier ten times the normal state. You can see rainbow even it doesn’t rain. There’s a magical feeling of simply being together.  At times, you can do things beyond your limits. Impossible becomes conceivable.  Right can be wrong and mistake can be right. You are being oblivious of important issues that need your attention the most as all you look forward to see that special someone who makes your existence full. Oh LOVE!  🙂  Who doesn’t want to feel it, embrace it, and indulge in it?

But what if the person you showered with love suddenly turn her/his back on you? Your world trembles. Hopes vanish. Loneliness creeps in. You swiftly become the person in your nightmare that you won’t want to be.  You want revenge; you want to hurt the same person whom you pledge you’ll be spending the rest of your life with. You try to find answers behind those questions unanswerable.  And in some point if your life, you unable to find reason to fall in LOVE again.

Unhappy, miserable, rejected, ill-fated; these are outlooks a person transmit when wounded.

Then you stop and began to realize. Every person will come to culmination; a point where you stand and walk forward. It is called moving on. To others it may be sooner. To some it will come later.

Then you will start pin your ears back to your heart once more. You will smile, get excited on meeting someone new, and will just shrug your shoulders every time you reminisce the past. You will become hopeless romantic all over again.

Because just like in the lyrics of the song; A heart in love can lose it is true. Don’t give up in time to find, the one who’s right will come to you. It’s the LOVER not the LOVE who deserted you.

Lyrics | Tiffany lyricsIt’s The Lover lyrics

Happy love month every- JUAN! 🙂

 

 

When Infidelity sets in…

relationship infidelity conflict resolution

in·fi·del·i·ty  

  • (n.) Unfaithfulness to the marriage vow or contract; violation of the marriage covenant by adultery.
  • (n.) Breach of trust; unfaithfulness to a charge, or to moral obligation; treachery; deceit; as, the infidelity of a servant.

For some reasons or another, INFIDELITY is always associated with MEN. Why? Is it because there are great number of men than women having an affair outside of their married life, or life with their partners and girlfriends. Or is it a common understanding and knowledge that MEN by nature are polygamous. Blame it on the society. But what really drives an individual to step out of the line and get himself/herself into this trap? Yes, I say trap as I believe any person has the ability to refuse or give it a green sign. I also believe that there is no such thing as UNINTENTIONAL CHEATING on his or her mate for that matter. It’s a big CRAP.

Well according to study, below are 12 common place situations that can lead to infidelity.

Trap #1 – Regular online communication an online “friend”

Regular e-mails, IM’s or chat room conversations with an online friend of the opposite sex can build strong emotional bonds that progress to emotional infidelity, which is the stepping stone to sexual infidelity.

Trap #2 – Drugs or Alcohol

Many people have succumbed to infidelity because they were under the influence of drugs or alcohol which impaired their judgment, and lowered their inhibitions.

Trap #3 – Flirting

Innocent flirting with someone of the opposite sex can get out of hand. Especially if one person finds the other sexually attractive.

Trap # 4 – Associating with others who are cheating on their mates.

Peer pressure can be very powerful. If there’s one lone “goody two shoes” among a group of a group of cheating friends, it won’t be long before that person is cheating too.

Trap #5 – Complaining about your marriage/ relationship or your mate.

This sends a message of availability, and can be misinterpreted that the complainer is open to having an affair. And the irony to this is, those partners who complaints a lot are those belong to the cheater group.

Trap #6 – Socializing with an opposite sex workmate.

Hanging out with an opposite sex workmate during non-business hours is just asking for trouble if unless your spouse or significant other is present, or you’re part of a group.

Trap #7 – Putting oneself in compromising situations.

Stopping by your opposite sex friend’s apartment when you know the two of you will be there alone. Inviting an opposite sex workmate to stop by your hotel room of visiting their room on a business trip.

Trap #8 – Fantasizing about sex with someone else.

Thoughts precede actions. Fantasizing what it would be like to have sex with another person allows the idea of infidelity to take root in one’s mind.

Trap #9 – Lunch and coffee breaks with the same person.

Having lunch or taking coffee breaks with the same opposite sex workmate every day paves the way for a workplace affair.

Trap #10 – Talking about sex.

Discussions of a sexual nature with someone of the opposite sex can arouse that person’s sexual interest in you, or make the other person think you have a sexual interest in them.

Trap #11 – Letting one’s marriage or relationship stagnate.

When the romance and passion fade in a marriage or relationship, both parties become vulnerable to an affair.

Trap #12- Window shopping on online dating sites.

Anyone who is married or in a committed relationship is asking for trouble by checking out online dating sites, just to see what they have to offer. Seeing what’s available can trick one into thinking that the grass is greener on the other side.

So if you think you’re in in one of the situational trap mentioned above, think twice or thrice. J You wouldn’t want to be in the scene where it is yourself that is being cheated upon right? Remember the law of KARMA. What comes around goes around.